Emo days for me... (-_-)

hm... no introduction for today.

feel so sad+angry+scared+everything!

i don't know what to do.

listening to songs is what i do from morning til now.

what songs? Rentrer En Soi is the band. i'm listening to their songs.

i'm really out of mood today.

is dying much more better than this?

no, absolutely not.

i hate this feeling.

i guess, i wanna get out from this mess as quickly as possible!

bye!

Semuanye bertukar menjadi abu!

Mika sbnrnye dh xde mood skang.

knp? sbb... ok, Mika mulakan cter dr awl.

korg tau kn budak UiTM kne dftr msuk 26/6 ari tu kn?

ade yg xtau tu wat2 la tau.

waktu tu sumenye ok je. sblum Mika tgglkan umah ni ok je.

dh kms (kms la gak) blik Mika elok2...sume2 tu. kuar g Melaka.

mmg la sdih tp nk wat cmne. nk g bljr kn?

that's not the prob at here.

bbrp hari kt sn tu ade orientasi. cm biase. tp Mika x dpt nk hbiskan ari orientasi tu sbb Mika blk umah n besoknye Mika trus kne msuk wad.

that's not the prob either.

and now, Mika dh kuar dr hospital. dh duk umah dlm brp hari Mika x psti.

now, i wanna tell you what is the problem here!

Pagi td Mika mmg hepi. xde pk ape2.

leh lg senyum n gelak2. tgk tv dgn mak n abah...

sumenye ok. ari ni ktorg g Melaka. bukan dgn ayah Mika.

Mika g dgn mak n uncle Mika.

tp sblum g Melaka td, Mika tb2 rs cm nk tgk2 blk hadiah2 drpd kwn2 Mika n cikgu Mika yg Mika ltk dlm satu kotak. cantik je kotak tu.

Mika cari2.

lps tu, Mika terdiam. Mika kuar bilik, tnye mak Mika mn perginye kotak tu.

mak Mika pun cam kata, "tgk la atas alamari".

xde pun. merata2 bilik Mika cari, xde.

then, the last conclusion yg mmbuatkan Mika nangis is, ayah Mika dah bkr brg2 Mika semasa Mika xde.

sedih x? sedih x ade ayah cmtu? sedih!!!

brg tu adlh kenang-kenangan drpd kwn2 dr sekolah, sumenye!

sumenye hancur, lebur! jd abu! sedih!!!!!

ayah Mika x pernah fhm ape2 pn psl Mika!

Mika x pernah jumpa mn2 ayah yg suke kacau hrta bnde anak die melainkan kalo bnde tu truk xpe la. ni hadiah! hadiah yg dibuat sndri oleh tgn kwn2 Mika!

terlalu sedih! sedih! sedih!

waa~ my hair!!! T.T

waaa!!! my hair!!!
i just cut it! T-T
i love my long hair~ but, my father asked me to cut it!
and now, i have a short hair... T-T
so cruel...
but, there's one thing that i like when my hair was cut.
that is...
i have a bang!! yey! finally!! xD
love it! huhu...

uh... hm... i guess, that's all for now. -_-
i'm not in a mood...
so, bye2~

ergh! seriously... I hate people who hate cats without any reason!

why?? why does some people hate cats?

why does some people love to torture this little creature?

huh??!! why??

xde rasa kesian ke kat dorg??

dari Mika sekolah rendah lagi, Mika dok trfikir psl ni.

kkdg Mika tgk je kwn2 Mika yg trjerit2, trlompat2, terpekik telolong mcm nmpk hntu biler kucing dtg kat die. WTF!

pdhl kucing tu buknnye mcm harimau (wlpun dorg ni adik brdik) nak mkn org. ade ke kucing mkn org?? xde. org mkn kucing ade la! sial mcm nk mampos! xde bnde lain dh ke yg nk dimkn??

mmg Mika bnci tgk org yg trgedik2 takut biler nmpk kucing! kkdg tu smpai sggup pnjt meja sebab takut sgt dgn kucing. bodoh ke ape?!

Mika x mrh la pd sape2 yg athma or yg ade allergic. tp Mika ckp ttg org yg sihat, n boleh brfikiran waras ni.

apsal bnci sgt dgn kucing? takut kne gigit ke?

korg tu sedap sgt ke smpai kucing2 ni fikir yg korg tu mknn?? prsn cm giler!

kalo dh korg g tarik or pijak ekor die, pijak tgn die, sepak die, mmg la kucing tu mrh! sbb tu korg kne ckr n kne gigit! sbb dorg rs terancam. adeh... x bljr ke psl bnde ni kat sekolah?? kalo korg kne serang, xkn korg nk dok diam je x wat pape. tu nk bunuh dri nmnye! camtula jgak dgn binatang.

dorg pun ade perasaan. jgnla sbb korg x suke sstgh binatang, korg leh ssuka hati je wat mcm2 kat dorg. fikirla dlu. dorg pun makhluk Allah. binatang2 ni sntiasa berzikir dan mengingati Allah. kalo kte? ade ke kte berzikir? manusia mudah lupa. bukan Melayu je yg mudah lupa ea. Mika pn x nafikan hal ni utk diri Mika sndri.

kekadang manusia ni trfnye lebih rndah dari binatang.

binatang syg ank dorg. manusia? buang anakla, bunuh anak la, mcm2 lg la.

binatang kkdg lbih setia dlm persahabatan dari manusia. manusia sggup tgglkan shbt n kkdg aniaya shbt tu utk kpntingan dri sndri.

kkadang tu pning kepala sbb tgk manusia skang ni dh jd cm, "the lowest of the lowest". camtu la ibaratnye.

memang patut kalo binatang2 ni leh berkate2. mintak dorg ajar ckit manusia ttg erti kehidupan sebenar. mmg manusia ni sombong. mentang2la Allah cipta kte ni semuanye elok n berakal lagi tu. tapi ade akal pun manusia skang dh x gune akal permberian Tuhan. pelik.

hm... ntahla. mls nk ckp lg. kepala Mika pun dh pning. demam... T^T

ngade2 ke kalo kte kate kte ni demam?? sstgh org kalo ade org demam je die kate, "ngade2 la ko!". btul ke cmtu?? bukan kalo ade kwn2 kte yg sakit sepatutnye kte kne amik berat psl dorg ke? knp ade org sakit yg kne maki cmtu? alih2 besoknye tgk org yg mencela tu plak yg sakit. malu ke x tu? ingat manusia sntiase sihat je ke? manusia skang dh susah nk berfikiran waras! ntahla. biarla. dh mls nk fikir lagi. leh kuar beribu2 soalan kalo kte nk ckp ttg manusia skang. hm...

k la, nk tarik dri dlu. :P

kang ade plak yg melenting dlm ni.

k, bye2~ Oyasuminasai...!

what a worse day! D:

I'm bored to death! =_=
somebunny...pls help me... T-T
plus, i'm feeling so bad. *achoo!*
uh... so bad... T-T
i wanna have some rest but it would be really boring.
i wanna have some fun. but playing games will make me feel more bad. oAo
what i wanna say is, WTH.
now i wanna cry. *achoo!* T-T
what a worse day...

I'm so Jealous with You, :(

hm... it's not about love okay. it's all about what you can have, but i can't have it at all! T^T
as i say, i'm an 18. i'm not a small kid anymore. i wanna act just like other teenagers do. i wanna some freedom.
i feel so jealous when even a high schooler could buy this and that. but not me. they can buy make up, but i can't! I'm a teenager! but i can't do what they can! i can't even do things that i want to do!
just take the negative things into a trash. it's not what i meant in here.
they can buy bags that they want. any bags. but i can't! they can buy anything! but why can't i buy anything for myself too?? why?? because i had no money? because i don't have any job yet?? so, do you think that a school girl who can buy this and that have their own job?? of course not! but they can have what they want. not like me.
why? why? why?

I have to go to Malacca for study but....

until 26/6/2010, there's another few weeks or days left for me to make preparations...huh... but i haven't done anything yet. haha! it's not funny!
i'm not worry about that stuff. but... i'm worried about the internet connection! Dx
i've checked the P1W1MAX coverage. but, there's no coverage at Malacca!! warrghhh!!!! what should i do??!!! T^T
i wanna cry now.... cry...cry...and cry... wuuu.... i'm so worried about it. huuu...
bye... T-T

Citer lama n prasaan... xp

ceh! jiwang tul tajuk Mika tu! nk trmuntah pn ade. hehe.. tuih2! xD

hm... xkesah la psl tajuk tu. yg pnting, ade tajuk... tul x? ^^

k, yg sbnrnye Mika nk tulis ni sbb Mika dh rindu sgt2 dgn kwn2 Mika yg dh lm Mika x ketemu... hm.. ape kbr korg skrg? sape2 yg rs2 cam kenal dgn Mika, silalah tegur2 k? hikhikhik...

sape la yg akan knl kalo dri yg menulis entry ni xnk bgtau nama sbnr or ape2 ttg dri die yg sbnr kn? huhu... tul jgak tu. walauape pn yg trjadi, Mika xkn bgtau sape sbnrnye dri Mika ni kat cni. Kita prlu b'jg2 dlm mmperkenalkan dri di Alam Siber. lol. Mika ni dh trlebih b'jg2 yg sbnrnye. xD

tb2...biler tringat kwn2 Mika yg ade brbagai ragam n perangai tu, tb2 trkluar plak la rupe si 'dia'. ape lg, Mika pun mula amik bntal n tmbuk2 bntal tu smpai lembik! amik kau! gaaahhh!!! kalo yg Mika ingat tu org yg Mika suke xpe la jgak! ni x, 'dia' jgak yg kuar! heish!! geramnye! hrp2 lps ni dh xkan jmpe or tringat lg muka die tu!

ok, ade org ckp kalo kite x ske ssorg tu mula2, lm2 jd suke. tp dlm hal Mika ni lain. mula2 mmg Mika suke dgn 'dia' (ske scr diam2), tp dh lm2 2, Mika mula cube sdaya upy utk lupakn 'dia'! mmg mula2 kte suke ssorg rs cam khayalan je sume tu. n ape2 yg trjd antara kte dgn die akan rs cam ssuatu yg indah.

sm la cam mula2 Mika suke kat 'dia'. ntah cmne, byk sgt bnde yg brlaku antara ktorg. mmg scr x sengaja. tp, yela, smpaikn bnde yg brlaku tu mmbuatkan muka Mika jd merah pdm krn 'dia'. adeh... kalo nk ingat blk, mmg lucu.

tp, lm2 bila dh smpai f4 n f5, Mika cuba utk lupakan 'dia'. 'dia' dh brpunya, namun x lama. kwn Mika kata, prngai 'dia' dh brubah. awek 'dia' pn cm xske dgn 'dia'. Mika pn trdiam. mmg prngai 'dia' dh brubah. x mcm dlu. hm... Mika pun mcm, "ape aku ksh psl die?" cmtu.

tp, ade satu hari ms f4, 'dia' tb2 nk tukar sekolah. kwn Mika kata kat Mika yg 'dia' nk msuk politeknik ke ape ntah. Mika ckp, "bgusla. xyah aku tgk muka dia lg!". tp dlm hati ni, rs cam nk ckp ssuatu. ade bnda yg prlu Mika katakan dkt 'dia' sbb ari tu la Mika tau psl hal ni, ari tu la jgak hari trakhir 'dia' akn brda di sekolah tu. Mika rs cam, resah sgt. prlu sgt bgtau 'dia' ssuatu skurg2nye ucap slmt tggl kt 'dia'. ape yg Mika nk bgtau 'dia'? ntah la. Mika pn dh xingat skang.

smpai la wktu utk balik. Mika bbual dgn kwn Mika yg sm kls dgn 'dia' kt dpn pntu kls. lps tu, nmpk 'dia' kluar mnuju ke tgga. kwn Mika agak rpt dgn 'dia' n ckap "bye2" kat 'dia'. Mika diam. hati rs pns sgt. xtau nape (bukan mrh or cmburu ok...?). tp Mika cube utk smbunyikan dr kwn Mika. Mika senyum and ckp, "bgus die tukar sklah! xyah jmpe die lg. hehe..snok ckit aku dok kt sklah ni", cmtu.

hari tu pn brakhir dgn rasa di dalam hati yg Mika sndri pn xtau cne nk ckp.

bbrp hari yg dilalui lps tu xde lagi Mika ckp or fikir psl 'dia'...

x abih lg ni. hehe...

lps bbraba minggu slps ari 'dia' mninggalkn sklah tu, Mika g sekolah, cam biase... ayah Mika hntar. n then, msuk prhimpunan pagi cam biase...sumenye cam biase. gurau dgn kwn, ape sume. abih prhimpunan, sume murid naik ke kls. pn cam biase gak. Mika n kwn Mika duk dkt dgn tingkap n depan ktorg pintu kls. mmg bez je wktu tu.

tp, lps bbrpa ktika, tu la pdhnye duduk tepi tingkap. Mika mula trcengang, trkejut, trdiam, trasa cam nk tumbuk je dinding kelas tu, apabila Mika trnmpak klibat sseorg yg nmpk cam 'dia'. kbtulan lps tu kwn Mika dr kls sblh dtg. Mika pun ape lg, tnyela die, "wei, budak tu ('dia')... pindh cni blk ke?". lps tu kwn Mika pn jwb, "yep. die dh pindh cni blk". Mika pun genggam tgn lps tu Mika ckp, "what?? are you serious?? huh!", lps tu mmg btul Mika nmpk 'dia' brjln kt kaki lima smbil trsenyum2 ntahapeape ntah!

lps tu mulala Mika trfikir, wktu 'dia' nk pndah ari tu bukan main lg Mika rs cam trkilan, sedih, and cam xnk 'dia' pg. tp bler 'dia' dtg cni, Mika rs bnci lak nk tgk muka 'dia' stiap ari lg sekali.

lps dr tu, mmg 'dia' ttp brda di sklah tu smpai f5. tp wktu f5 Mika dh cuba utk x brmerah muka lg bler trserempak or trpaksa jmpe dgn 'dia'. Mika dh mls nk fikir ttg 'dia'. Biarla 'dia' dgn idop 'dia', n Mika pula dgn idop Mika...

tu jela utk ms skrg. sori la sbb byk pkai short form utk entry ni. sbb tgkla, pnjg brjela2 dh Mika tulis ttg pngalaman Mika ms kt sklah dlu. xD

huhu... ok, bye2!

I really need that thing!!! Dx

huh... i thought that, today my cousin will come here and we'll go buy my mom's cellphone at Low Yat Plaza. but, she doesn't call me or send me any text message about that. T^T

I really want to look around and buy a Wacom Graphire! i really need that!!!

but, can i? it costs almost RM300 or if the cheapest one is RM100. T^T

i really want it~

ugh...what?? you ask me to go with my father instead of my cousin?!

NO WAY! sorry for that but he's always in bad mood and i don't know what makes him like that! it stress me out! i didn't do anything wrong but he's so hard to figure out! pergh! i rather go with my mom. but i don't know where is Low Yat Plaza... T-T pity isn't it? hm...

maybe i just have to wait. but i really need that Wacom no matter what!

bye!

I AGREE!!!

hm... my friend was totally down because of me. hontou ni gomennasai efa-chan... T^T gome!!

she really want her Gundam Seed's CDs back. i promise i will give it to you. just forget about my CDs. it will be really mess if you want to search for it right now.

but, i have read her new post on her blog. i don't quite understand it well but, i really think that she's talking about how damn it was to watch anime online (or are you angry because of me? T^T). moreover if the frame was Megavideo or Veoh. it makes me really angry! Dx

oh!!! if it was Megavideo, i can't watch the video more than 72 mins! and if i want to watch it without time limit, i must pay for premium whatsoever thing it is! Veoh?? Region limits! Hate it so much!!! D:

but what can i do? i have no money to buy those expensive anime DVDs or CDs. even though i do have money, but it's not mine. it's my father's or my mother's money duh. T^T so sad. i wish i have my own money... =_=

Sorrow...

I hope that you'll hear this song and read the story below of this video. seriously, understand the story, and the song. Douzo...

The Lonely Cat:

A stray cat, in the streets, shivering because of the cold night dreaming for a place to live. He was lonely all his entire life, the cat never saw his family or the owner that took care of him when he was still a kitten. He was wondering through the streets looking for a place to stay but he can never find one. He had a cold because of the cold night, he was in a corner of a street just watching people walk by. When he was nearly dead, someone saved him, but it was too late...

Mika is a boy???

today is a perfect day for me. just came back from an outing with a friend and also with my mom. so great! we eat at Nando's. the food, is okay. not so good but still okay. i love Kenny Roger's Roaster more than Nando's. haha! xD

during that time, i told her about Seigaku Game on how to play, and what the rules are. but, really, just by talking about the rules won't get anyone understand it. so, Efa, you have to watch the video by yourself. so that you can understand it better. ^^

okay, whoever have read her blog titiled 'promote-promote', yea, that's about me (didn't mean to show off about my blog)... thanks Efa. but, just now, she said that there's someone comment on this topic and say, "hehe... is Mika a boy...? huhu...", i just translate it, of course she said it in Bahasa Malaysia. I say, "what?? T^T"... i ask her, "who is that person (the one who left that comment)?". and she say, "it's ----". Dx

i'm not that sad. just in Malaysia, Mika is a name for guys. not all but, it's majority. but in Japan, Mika is always been used by girls. only some of the guys will use it. whatever it is, Mika is a girl. not a boy. I'm a girl. not a boy. T-T

I really hope that...

aww...! i want more of Kuroshitsuji! i wasn't satisfied with the end of this anime. hm... i don't like sad endings! moreover, Ciel's still a child! uh... he should have more future! gaaaahh!!! huh! i'm about to cry once again... *isk2*

Monoshitsuji... is the 2nd season of Kuroshitsuji.

but, what i'm going to say is, it seems boring... Claude (the butler) has a serious looking face! and Alois... huh... i don't like him! a bit kinda childish, i guess? gaaaahhhH!!! i'm mad plus sad!

hm... at a time like this, i was thinking of something really good about Kuroshitsuji. i really hope that it will come true! but, no one will hear my wish...

after watching Kuroshitsuji the Musical, i really hope that there will be a Live-Action of this anime! i want it! T-T I just don't want to miss Ciel and Sebastian so much, or keeps on remembering that they'll never appear anymore. cuz it hurts a lot to keep on thinking something like that and i will keep on crying! (i'm not making this sentences and this is not a lie! T^T)

just like said before, anime has really entered my heart and my mind! wuu... this topic sounds ridiculous huh? don't comment if you hate this topic. I just typing out all of the thoughts that appear in my mind. and this is my feeling.

hm... i should stop. I'm gonna cry once again! wuuu... T.T

gotta watch the musical once again! i wanna laugh! >n<